Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Doctor of Letters

"Now then, to me university degrees are unearned finds, and they bring the joy that belongs with property acquired in that way... It pleased me beyond measure when Yale made me a Master of Arts, because I didn't know anything about art; I had another convulsion of pleasure when Yale made me a Doctor of Literature, because I was not competent to doctor anybody's literature but my own, and couldn't even keep my own in a healthy condition without my wife's help."